January passed without a drop of measurable rain in Chico. Residents and students are both puzzled as to the cause of this phenomenon. It’s one of the lesser-known jobs of the opinion editor to probe the weather situation and right meteorological wrongs. This solemn and sacred task ranks up there with deciding who wins the […]
The elephant population across the world tripled in the first half of 2006. Well, not exactly. But Stephen Colbert used this false fact to support his theory of Wikiality, or the belief that if enough people thought something was true, the facts couldn’t get in the way. To prove his theory, he sent his viewers […]
Look at that mug. With a face like this, I’m sure you’ll be shocked to know Valentine’s Day hasn’t been the kindest holiday to me. Even with all of my charm, grace and incredibly dashing looks, I found myself beginning February the same way I began so many months before. It’s been a long dry […]
The eggs were all hidden in the grass, waiting for the youngest kid in our family to find them. This wasn’t her first egg hunt this Easter, but it was the first with eggs she could actually hatch. Whether it was when she was dyeing the eggs with her cousins or looking for them at […]
Before Cindy Sheehan comes to town and the eagles and the doves dump a heaping helping of Iraq crap on Chico, I’d like to squeeze in a few rational words. There has been enough fact distortion on both sides that it’s easy to lose track or keep score of what’s going on. Score one for […]
Wild parties, crazy Greeks and dead students. Talk to anyone about Chico State and eventually one of those three stereotypes will pop up. The reputation this school has isn’t pretty, and it’s wrong for the most part. People party here just like on any other campus. People do stupid things here just like on any […]
After four years at Chico State and three on staff with The Orion, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been living a lie. For too long I’ve been hiding the fact that I’m really the person behind so many rumors and terrible things, and I’ve enjoyed it thoroughly. As the first step of my […]
Your favorite college newspaper is about to get a lot better. No, not The State Hornet. The Orion Online is becoming even more convenient for your online lifestyle. There is a total redesign that’s beginning to find its legs. We’re going to pull an Apple Computer on you though and just say it’s going to be […]
Last week’s column seemed to generate a lot of angry e-mails (read: zero), so I felt the need to clear up a point I made about computers. I wrote about how furious I was to see people buying cheap laptops at Wal-Mart and it needs to be stated that I love (read: hate) Wal-Mart. I also […]
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas. Who gives a flying-eh, it’s not worth breaking out the profanity. This has been a massive political debate that makes me want to vomit profusely. And when I use the word “profusely”, I really mean it. The only reason why we’re debating this is because Tom DeLay might lose his position […]