Month: January 2007

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Homeless exiled from Chico

Gone will be the days of panhandling and people scrounging for recyclables if Chico city officials have their way. No, I’m not talking about Chico State students. The city has enough fun with Labor Day, Halloween and St. Patrick’s Day. It’s the homeless who have to worry. The city’s grand plan began in earnest in…
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Games heal wounds of incompetence

I spent my winter break trying to free the world from shadows by either swinging my mighty sword, launching the occasional bomb-arrow, or even transforming into a mighty wolf and leaping for the throats of my enemies. No, I’m not writing this column from a maximum-security prison or while on the lam. After a two-year…
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Pursuit of parking stalls students

Rational people would take $72 and put it toward food, textbooks or even a nice romantic evening on the town. Instead, I spent that for the right to fight for a parking space. I’ve heard all about how hard it is to find parking even with a permit. It’s no surprise the university oversells parking…
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Podcast aside your radio

I have officially given up listening to the radio. Outside the occasional San Francisco Giants game on the radio, I have no reason or need to. The songs I want to listen to are all on my iPod, and now even some of the TV shows I’ve missed are waiting for me to download for…
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A crash course in religion’s wrongs

An old man walked to the top of a mountain and lugged a few rocks down the hill. The son of a carpenter said a few controversial things and was hung on a cross. One man was so great that his picture can’t be shown in a newspaper without fear of an upheaval. These are…
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Democrats finally step up

Don’t look now, but there’s something new dangling between the blue donkey’s legs. After taking it on the chin since Republicans took power of Congress in 1994, the Democrats are taking charge, and it’s about time. One party can’t rule forever. It started with a seemingly harmless nonbinding resolution that didn’t seem to be worth…
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America’s values on life support after Captain sniped

On his way into a courthouse for his date with justice about a controversial law, a sniper’s bullet fell Captain America. While early speculation had him dead at the scene, there is hope Captain America might be alive and recovering in hiding. The values he represented are the same way. Captain America started more than…
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Columnist goes insane while waiting for rain

January passed without a drop of measurable rain in Chico. Residents and students are both puzzled as to the cause of this phenomenon. It’s one of the lesser-known jobs of the opinion editor to probe the weather situation and right meteorological wrongs. This solemn and sacred task ranks up there with deciding who wins the…
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Wikipedia sucks students in with reliable information

The elephant population across the world tripled in the first half of 2006. Well, not exactly. But Stephen Colbert used this false fact to support his theory of Wikiality, or the belief that if enough people thought something was true, the facts couldn’t get in the way. To prove his theory, he sent his viewers…
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Love bytes on the Internet

Look at that mug. With a face like this, I’m sure you’ll be shocked to know Valentine’s Day hasn’t been the kindest holiday to me. Even with all of my charm, grace and incredibly dashing looks, I found myself beginning February the same way I began so many months before. It’s been a long dry…
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